For those visting this site, we’d love to hear any comments you have about Jay.
A repository of memories of James J. Neary, 1971-2008
A repository of memories of James J. Neary, 1971-2008
For those visting this site, we’d love to hear any comments you have about Jay.
HELLO THIS IS MARIANNE RIORDAN [CONROY] I WOULD LIKE TO START OFF BY SAYING HOW SORRY WE ARE ABOUT JAYS PASSING. I SPENT SOME TIME WITH JJ CHILDREN ON FRIDAY AND IT REALLY MADE HIS PASSING MORE DEVASTATING. JJ SON WILLIAM CAME RUNNING AROUND THE CORNER TO SAY HELLO AND I SWEAR I THOUGHT I WAS 5 YEARS OLD AGAIN AND JJ WAS OVER FOR A PLAY DATE . NOT ONLY DOES HE HAVE HIS FATHERS SMILE, WALK ,AND LAUGH HE WAS THE MOST WARM OUTGOING 6 YEAR OLD I EVER MET. I ALSO SPENT IME WITH KATIE JJ GORGEOUS LITTLE GIRL.SHE ALSO HAS SUCH A WARM SMILE JUST LIKE HER DAD. KATIIE IS ALSO HAPPY OUTGOING AND FUN.THE REASON I AM SAYING ALL THIS IS I CANT HELP BUT WONDER HOW MUCH THIS WILL AFFECT THEM. JJ DID SO MUCH FOR EVERYONE AROUND HIM I JUST HOPE EVERYONE WILL REACH OUT TO HIS WIFE AND 3 CHILDREN AND CONTINUE TO BE THERE FOR THEM NOT ONLY NOW BUT ALWAYS. THANK YOU MARIANNE
My prayers for Jay’s wife, children, the Neary family and all of his friends who thought so much of him. Jay grew up with my children, especially John and Marianne. I will never forget his terrific smile and his willingness to assist others. My wife and I were very proud when we were invited to Jay and Susan’s wedding. Since I moved to New Jersey I would visit with my daughter and grand children. On these trips, whenever Jay saw me, he would stop to say hello and ask how I was doing. It was always a pleasure to speak with Jay. Please keep me informed of anything that is or will be done to assist Jay’s family. God bless. Pat Conroy
I had the privilege of knowing Jay since the first grade at Sacred Heart Grade School. Jay lived right down the street from my family growing up and we had some great times on Belmont Place. He was also one of my brother Chris’ best friends. I can’t put into words what a kind, gentle soul he was. He was so bright and funny and everyone’s life was so much better for having him in it. Everytime you saw him, he wanted to know how you were doing and he really cared about people. I will truly miss him and I know I will always remember him as this big guy who could make you laugh so hard you’d cry. You’ll be missed by so many…
Here it is….the 1st anniversary of my brother,Jay’s passing.I will always miss him and today is no different.Paul and I are meeting for lunch today and we will give a BIG toast to our brother and friend Jay. I LOVE YA,JAY!!!! Your brother,Kevin.
i wrote this poem about my uncle jay.
Jay’s Poem:
I can’t believe that I’m never going to see your face again
And it is getting hard to remember all the times when
You would wrap me up tight, in a bear hug
You really cared, you kept me so snug
But now you left a hole in all of our hearts
Your passing almost tore us apart
And I hate that I’m starting to forget
The sound of your voice, I’m not ready yet
To lose all these memories that I hold closely
The sight of your smile is what I miss mostly
I wish you were around more during the holiday seasons
You wouldn’t show up for some silly reason
And I wish you could come for one more birthday
Because having you there would mean so much, Jay.
I just stare at the door hoping you will walk though
But you never do, you’re gone, it’s true
And I know that if I tried, you wouldn’t replay
But all I want is a chance to say goodbye
And no matter where I go in life or what I endeavor
You will always be in my heart, forever!
It is hard to believe it has been two years. Paul, you did a great job posting the remarks you did. I miss you Jay. I also miss Katie, Will and Jack. Happy 2nd Birthday Jack ! Though right now we are not allowed to see the three of you, our hope is that someday that will change. Uncle Paul has done an amazing job keeping this website going, and Andrew and Emily did a great job filming the memorial, so that in the future you will have this so that you can know more about your father. Uncle Mike, Kathleen and Rebecca and I look forward to the day that we can see you all again. Until then you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Today is a Sad day for all of us who remember our dear friend Jay . I cannot believe that 2 years have passed already from the day I received the phone call from his neighbor. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone to call Jay to tell him something that happened this week or to tell him something I bought to help stimulate the economy (we laughed so much about that). As much as today brings heaviness to my heart for the friend I can no longer see or hear, I want everyone to try and do what I do… As in my heart everyday are the years of countless memories from a guy who would do anything for his friends or family and always did it with a SMILE and his whole heart. I am proud to have known Jay and even more proud to have called him FRIEND. I miss you buddy, more than I can say. FLAP-FLAP
Jay, in less than 60 minutes it will have been 3 years since you left us. Kevin left us this year on June 20th . Now I am stuck with Paul (ok kidding 😉 Seriously, me, Mike, Kathleen and Rebecca still miss you greatly. I actually just finished speaking with one of my daughters who was crying because she was thinking about you. This day will always be a hard one, no matter what.
I will also say Happy 3rd Birthday to Jack Neary, and lots of love to Katie and Will. You guys are always in our hearts and it is one of my everlasting goals to be in touch with all of you again. I know it may not happen for many years, but I know it can happen. Please never doubt that we always cared about you and wanted to be with you, and continue to think about you. Lots of Love until we see you again….Aunt Janet, Uncle Mike, Kathleen and Rebecca….
Jay and Kevin, I hope (I know 😉 you guys are just finishing up a six-pack in heaven right about now – love you guys ! I will still keep feeding Paul my errant bottles of red wine for now ! 😉
Jay , Wow time has gone by 3 years since I lost one of the best friends I will ever have.. I still miss our late night chat’s from work. How did we stimulate the economy this week and you sipping on 6 hrs old coffee while we discuss Life , Family , and what new psycho project you are working on to SAVE Money. I love you Pal and Always will. I keep your kids in my prayers all the time and hope they are safe and that someday we can all tell them the stories about their father that we all laugh about today . Take care of Kevin up there as you always did down here.I may not be able to hear that “whats up buddy” on the phone anymore but now and forever you will Always be in my heart.
Walter , Tony , Chris and I all Stay in touch as you would have wanted. You always kept us all together and we are all better and closer now for it .
Love you Jay and FLAP FLAP
Happy Birthday to Will Neary and Merry Christmas to Katie Will and Jack. We miss you !!
Happy Birthday Jay – I love you buddy !! I miss you and Kevin….
Jay, I just miss you. I think of you every day, even if it’s a momentary smile at the way you used to say something. I’ve noticed that happens a lot when I’m talking to my cat. How many times I’ve told him he’s so “cuuuuuuuuuute” and remembered you saying that to me because you knew I hated it.
Sometimes I see you in Ken, and it makes me smile. You would have liked him, I think.
Happy Birthday to Jack Neary, now 5 years old. I hope someday to be able to see and get to know you, Will and Katie. I hope you are all doing well. I think about the three of you often and look forward to the day we are allowed to see you again.
Jay, we still miss you all the time buddy.
Jay, 4 years to the day it does not feel like so much time has passed ..I run into things and have experiences that I want to share with my best friend Everyday . I still miss the best friend I ever had . It does get a little easier as time passes but you WILL NEVER be forgotten. My Mom Came up to me the other day and out of no where she teared up. I asked her what was wrong and she just said JJ popped into my head when he use to come and visit us on his way home from work even when you were not here .. I can’t believe he is not going to come walking up the driveway anymore. As we all miss his smile and the sound of his Voice this website and all the pictures and thoughts from all his friends let me know his memory will never be forgotten. I agree with Janet and Hope someday we will all be able to see his kids so they can learn from his family and friends who loved him so dearly . what a special one of a kind person he was.. Love you Buddy ..FLAP FLAP
Happy Birthday Jay – I still think about you all the time and miss you.
And a Happy Belated Birthday to Will on Christmas Day ! Will, I hope to see you and your sister and brother someday. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers all the time. I hope this website someday (when you are all older) will let you know just how special your dad was to all of us and let you know the great person he was 😉 Until then, we will keep you three kids and your mom in our thoughts.
Hi Jay, it has been 5 years since we lost you. That’s pretty hard to believe. I wish so many times I could go back in time and call you and do something to change the way things ended up, but I know that is just the way we continue to react to grief. And for you, my little brother, I will never stop wishing I could have change what happened.
But today I am also here to celebrate Jack’s 6th birthday. Jack, we are not back in touch with you yet but I guess you are in 1st grade and wondering what the heck happened since kindergarten was so much easier ??? 🙂
Katie, Will and Jack, we wait for the day we are allowed to be in touch with you again – Lots of Love, Aunt Janet
Well Buddy ..today is a hard day for me 5 years how times goes by so quickly .I have to say that its has gotten a little easier and I may not think about you everyday but that does not mean that you are still in my heart and you come up all the time . I wish things were different ..I wish one of out overnight phone calls from you at work could have changed your mind ..But please know that you are and always were my best friend ..You kept all of the group together , whenever Walter was in town we could always count on Jay to call Chris and myself and announce that Coffee or beers at Jays’ tonight Walter is in town .I stimulated the economy this past month with a new Honda CRV and about $1000.00 on new Clothes but it was not the same because I could not share it with you . I still have not seen Sue or the Kids by her choice but someday I hope that changes so that I can Share all the happy memories and stories that we made together as Friend.. My Mom and Dad still miss you’re visits and you come up at home often.
Know that you will always be in my heart and memories I love ya buddy …Flap Flap Rob
Words escape me. Kate, Will, and Jack please know we will always be here when you find us. Eventually you will and should you be interested we can try to help you understand who your dad was. The why escapes us all and know that we struggle with it too.
My mom and dad miss Jay too.
You are always in our thoughts.
Miss you man.
Hearing about Robin Williams brings up old memories. Although not nearly as famous Jay could bring smiles and laughs just as spontaneously as Robin. I hope you both have found peace.
Hi Jay, another difficult anniversary. I think about you a lot, so many good memories and that is what I choose to focus on. I still miss you so much…..
Happy 7th Birthday to Jack ! Katie, Will and Jack, we miss you and look forward to seeing you all again someday. We will have lots of great stories so you can know what your dad was like. Lots of those stories are on this website too preserved forever, which was one of Uncle Paul’s great ideas (he actually has one now and then :-). Suzanne, I am thinking about you too. I used to be really mad that you shut us out but now I know that no one should have had to deal with what you did and that I understand you needed to start over. But we are here for you too, just so you know.
WOW 6 years it seems like just yesterday we were laughing on the phone about something I did to Stimulate the Economy..I have chosen to make this day not a sad day going forward but a celebration of my friend who was just the best guy i knew.. Completely loyal and there for me and our friends no matter what … I will spend the day today reflecting on how much joy you added to my life and how much you made me laugh..Walter , Tony , Chris and Myself reflect all the time about how are lives are better today because YOU were in it and were are friend . I pray that you kids will someday find this site or all of us so we can let them know about their Dad in ways only his best friends can. As much as I understand how Janet has forgiven Sue for cutting all communication with everyone from his past to move on I myself can understand it but that does not mean i have to agree with it. I feel we could have helped Sue and the kids through this time but that is out of my hands . Every year I never know what I will write here on this page but somehow it all just flows naturally ..As my Parents get on in years my Dad is OK but my Mom is in the early stages of Dementia…but what i need to share is that when ever i bring up Jay’s name my mother Smiles and then Cries as she and my Dad Miss him as much as we do ..Jay was that special guy that all parents adored and I know I speak for then as they felt and treated him like another son.. So I celebrate JJ today and hope once again he is at peace and I know in my heart he is looking down from heaven keep an eye on all his friend , family , kids and his wife..I love you Buddy . Today is 30 degrees and freezing I wish we could Coffee and FLAP FLAP ..Bless you Jay and again thank you for changing my life
6 years sounds so long but it certainly doesn’t feel like he’s been gone that long. I think I will reheat my coffee 5 or 6 times today just to be thrifty. I know he is missed by so many. Hope those who care the most are well…
I appreciate all of the nice words from Janet, Tony, and Rob today. I miss him as much as I ever did. Doubt that will change.
–Paul
I’m going to buy a zip up sweat shirt today. I miss you Jay. The kids are getting older. Hopefully soon they will find this site and God willing reach out.
Happy Birthday in Heaven Jay. Thinking about you today.
Special Belated Happy Birthday to Will, whose birthday was on Christmas ! Will, you are in our thoughts a lot and I hope it was a great birthday. Love, Aunt Janet
Well, I thought of you today Jay, as i often do. My coffee went cold and I reheated it! I’m in nursing school and came across some things that reminded me of you and the day you chose to leave us, so I looked you up! As I read what Rob, Walter and Tony say, I too hope the kids one day, search your name and see that we loved you and miss you! It’s getting colder and like them, would love to coffee and Flap!! Love to you and all who read this~ ♡
Hi Jay, thinking of you today. Love you and miss you.
Happy Birthday to Jack!
Katie, Will and Jack – we hope to see you someday. We never stop thinking about you and look forward to the day we are allowed to have contact with you. Love, Aunt Janet
Well Year 7 has Arrived and as usual it does not get any easier .
I miss my friend all the time… in the spirit of making today a celebration of out Friend rather than a sad day .. Myself , Walter , Tony and Chris have been texting one another about many of the adventures and experience and memories that we shared together with Jay and I have to tell you the stories never get old and make us all smile ..As a group and may I credit Chris with the following. We are thinking of making a plaque of maybe a bench or something of that nature since None of use have a place to go and talk or remember him . Does anyone have any thought , idea’s or comments on that ? please leave a message or thought here . As a group we all wonder and worry about the kids but we all know that God and Jay are watching over them and hope that someday they will be all grown up and reach out to one or all of us who loved Jay so we can share our stories and out feelings with them … Love you Jay I miss you and carry you in my heart always … By the way the coat hanger people are still alive and well and you would be happy to know that .. Let’s reheat our coffee 5 or 6 times today !! FLAP FLAP !!
Thought a lot about Jay today. Hard not to. Rob, as to your idea–that has some possibilities. Would have to be some place Jay liked to hang.
I’ve just added Mr. Urtz’s letter about Jay that I got the day after his anniversary this year. Look under “Rememberances”
Happy Birthday in heaven Jay. I love you and miss you and wish you were still with us.
Hi Katie, Will and Jack – I hope you all had a great Christmas! Will, I hope you had a Happy Birthday ! I can’t wait until we will get to see you again.
Dear Jay, it has been 10 years. It is so hard to fathom that you have been gone from our lives this long. I still remember the sound of your laugh, your voice, how you could make everything so fun and so right just by your presence. We will never stop missing you.
Katie, Will and Jack – Uncle Paul got this site back up and running (bless you Paul!) in time for this very sad 10 year anniversary. We have never stopped thinking about you. We don’t know where you are (we unfortunately were not allowed to know) but we still love you, and all of you and your mom are our family. If you ever find this website, my e-mail is [email protected]. We will be back in touch someday, I just know it.
Happy 11th Birthday to Jack as well!
Jay, this morning Angela, Emily, Matt, and I stopped by the park to sit on the bench your friends arranged for you 10 years to the day, and possibly even the hour, you left us. We remarked on how different we all are after a decade, how it still seems not that long ago we got the awful news, and how much you are still with us in our thoughts and memories. Katie, Will, and Jack: we miss you, and hope to find you one of these days.
–Paul
I wanted to leave a message here on the exact 10th Anniversary
But I needed to think what to say on such a sad occasion
10 Years seems like yesterday and you come up in conversation all the time with Tony , Walter , Chris and Dennis
Kiki and I also remissness so fondly of how much you made us laugh and what it was like to have such a true friend .
Dad and I were just talking yesterday how you used to come by and sit in the driveway with him to discuss politics and Life.
We all Love and miss you so much and I Pray regularly that you have found the peace that you were so desperately looking for .
As my Mom’s Alzheimer’s got worse I know if you were here she would have recognized you and smiled in that special way she did when I would come home . Sometime I was mad that I did not have you to lean on when I need that moral support . You kindness and friendship would have been so helpful to me .
But Anger is never how I could feel toward you because I know in my heart you are watching over Me all out friends , Sue and your Kids . Never forget how loved you were and How Proud I am to call you MY FRIEND . Jennifer Thomas Lost her Husband Dermit very Unexpected a few months ago . Be that awesome person you are and greet him in heaven and make him laugh and feel at peace. You will always be my closest Friend and I love and miss you .
And to Paul.. Thank you so much for getting this back up so I and everyone can share how we feel when it comes up
Also I never get tired of looking at Pictures and Videos
Year 11–still missing you, still thinking about you.
I wanted to write something on the day of the 11 year anniversary of loosing you but I could not find the words .
So I will say the one most important thing I can
All of your friends and family still love and miss you just as much as 11 years ago. Walter , Chris , Tony and I keep in touch as best we can but it’s not the same as when you “Jay” made sure we all stayed close .. . we are doing out best and we will make you proud. Please continue to watch over all of us your kids and Family
We love you JJ always in all our hearts you will always be remembered and we are the people we are today because of what you taught us and how you big heart made us better people.
Love you Pal …I am a better person because you were my friend
Dear Katie, Will and Jack – on December 1st I happened to be in Yonkers and I stopped by 22 Belmont Place. Your Aunt April was there and was very nice and sweet to me. She told me how well you are all doing. I gave her my contact info to give to your mom. April said she would give it to your mom. We have tried to get our contact info to you all a few times over the years.
One thing I asked your Aunt April to make sure you knew at some point is how much Paul and I and our children have always wanted to be in touch with you. We have never stopped thinking of you and we will always hope to be in touch with you in the future.
Will, I hear you are doing great and a lot of colleges want you! That is awesome! I can’t wait to hear more some day!
Love, Aunt Janet
Well we could not post on here for 2020 as the website has issues thank you to Paul for getting it back up for this somber 13-year remembrance
It never gets easier to realize I lost one of my best and most loyal friends all I can say is now I don’t think of him every day after 13 years but he still comes into my thoughts and life experience very often. I still miss not being able to pick up the phone and share with Jay something good or bad that just happened to me. He was always so supportive and found a way to make me laugh. I hope that it was reciprocal when he needed me. I know that he’s is still an angel looking down on me and I know he still keeps an eye on his Kids and Sue and hopefully someday as the kids become adults I will get to see them again and get a chance to share with them how special their dad was and how much he meant to everyone who lives he touched. I love you Jay and you will forever be in my heart
I love you Jay – today and always.
Love,
Janet
Happy Birthday in Heaven Jay.
I also want to say Happy New Year to Katie, Will and Jack. Every year I hope that this is the year one of you reaches out to us. I am on Facebook as “Janet Neary Ellsworth”. I have tried many times over the years to reach out but I have been told each time by others in your family to stop doing that. We have so many wonderful memories of Jay that we would love to share with you, and we would love to get to know you.
Dear Jay, today is another sad anniversary but we love you and I hope you are up in heaven telling stories and having a beer!
Jack, Happy 15th birthday to you! I look forward to seeing you (and Will and Katie) someday whenever you are ready. Until then, sending love to all of you…..
Thanks, Janet. Angela & I would also love to see or talk to Jay’s kids. We miss him every day.
Happy Birthday in Heaven Jay! I love you!
Will, I hope you had a good birthday on Christmas Day and I hope you, Katie, Jack and your mom are all doing good. Please feel free to reach out to say hi whenever you are ready. We would so love to be in touch with you.
It is for no reason that I think of you today other than I simply miss you. Maybe it’s me getting older and thinking of my best friend from childhood. You were my first and closest friend. We knew each others phone numbers by the time we were 4 yrs old but we had to wait until we were six to call each other because we were too small to reach the phone on the walls in our kitchens.
We did so many dumb funny things together. Tag, prank phone calls, then drinking beers. (I will leave out the yr) I think my favorite memory was one Fourth of July we got a case of beer and sat in Mr. Matos’ yard watching his hounds while drinking suds. We drank the whole case!
Little did our parents know where we were.
What I found my impressive was how young you were when you took apart your first bike. Maybe 8yrs old. Even more impressive was that you put it back together. Everything cleaned fixed and put back together. I was amazed!
Miss you bud, so many funny memories. I will cherish them forever. Your laugh, your sense of humor. Your good nature.
Chat soon.
Hi Jay, just thinking of you today. I love you.
Katie, Will and Jack, I hope you are doing okay. Thinking of you and would love to be in touch whenever you are ready.
Jack, Happy 16th Birthday to you too!
Love,
Aunt Janet
Happy Birthday in heaven yesterday Jay. Love you
For all of us who knew Jay, and for his family, particularly his children, Katy, Will, and Jack, we can say you are always in our hearts.
–Paul
Today is a day that I will always remember and Jay is always in my thoughts I think about him everyday . You were one if my best friends and I will always have memories to warm my heart
Love you Jay .. Keep an eye on your kids I know you are still in their hearts